Home Alone

niklas-hamann-418782-unsplashSome days are hard.

Christmas is one of those days for me. It is a day filled with loss and aloneness.  This year was especially hard and I am disappointed in myself.

I don’t “do” Christmas and this year Spirit has guided me into understanding more about why this is.  In fact, over the last few weeks, Spirit has shown me a low-frequency Energy that I carry around with me, and have done so for most of my life.  It is such a part of me that I haven’t recognised it. It’s been bottled up so tight for so long I simply don’t see it.  I see it in others, but not in Self and that has to change.  You can’t work to better yourself, to grow, if you don’t see the very thing you need to work at.  This low-frequency Energy is Anger.  I can talk another time about how that Anger grew, about why I haven’t recognised it, but that is a tale for another day.  It is enough right now that I have recognised that emotion.  It means I can now work to heal that pain.

I am normally a glass-half-full person.  Even in the bleakest times I can usually find something to be grateful for.  I can usually see beauty in the dullest of days.  But Christmas Day?  Man that is hard.  Especially when faced with Face Book.  All those families coming together in Joy and celebration.  It’s confusing.  I am so glad and happy that others can enjoy that closeness with family but I am also deeply saddened that I don’t have family around.  Normally I can deal with it, mainly because it’s usually just another working day for me.  This year, I had no work to do.  It’s my life choices that have brought me such a Christmas Day, but this year I wallowed.

Loss comes in many forms.  I emigrated from England to Australia and in doing so, lost the family Christmases of childhood.  Australian Christmas is in the middle of summer – that is something I can’t get my head around – so many of my Christmas traditions are lost also simply because of the heat.  I could have made new traditions, but didn’t really get the chance.  My husband passed from cancer not long after we arrived in Australia and his family made it clear – and they chose to do this at Christmas, the first one after he died – that we were outsiders.  Or rather, If I am being honest (and I need to be) one member of the family made it clear we were not a part of that family.  I think the others told themselves that it was best if they left us alone in our grief.  I couldn’t get past the hurt that was done to my daughter that day and it was from this point that I decided that I wouldn’t “do” Christmas any more.  You can kid yourself that you are fooling others into believing that not ‘doing’ Christmas is a choice against commercialism (and I don’t go for the religious stuff either) but I don’t think that many folk realise that for me it is a defensive thing.  If you don’t do it, it can’t hurt.  How screwed up is that?

More loss.  This year I lost a close family member.  We have some barriers to break through and it appears that she is not prepared to talk about them, to try to fix them.  I didn’t even know they existed, at the level they obviously do for her, until early December.  And this is the trigger for my despondency, but it also where I found my bottled up Anger.  It is reflected in my daughter.  I found it in my mother a few years ago.  I remember that I’ve seen it in my grandmother – and experienced it at her hand.  And if you look closely at the one picture I have of my Great Grandmother, it’s right there in her eyes too.  I hope my daughter can break that trait.  She has the strength.

But now, it’s Boxing Day.  The day where tradition says you can return unwanted gifts.  I return the gifts of loneliness and dismal introspection.  I think it may take longer to return the Anger – that is something I don’t want anymore, but it will take some work to loosen.  It was a horrible day, yesterday, but this morning I realise my glass is still half full.  I had been given the opportunity to review these losses.  Some are profound and can’t be changed, some can be worked on and hopefully overcome.  But my decision, yesterday, to wallow in that loss and anger was a choice I made.  Unknowingly, yes –  but still a choice.  Today I choose differently.

I have started the Energy work on this.  It is a Karmic Imbalance that needs to be brought back into balance.  And that is one of the reasons why I am here in this lifetime.  To balance Karmic Imbalance.  I do have help in this.  I need it.

I asked my sister to be an intermediary, and sent a letter to this hurting family member.  A bridge, I hope.  A place from which to grow a better understanding of each other.  As adults.

So I will stay away from Face Book for another day – I’m not quite ready to take Joy in other people’s happiness but I do not plan to allow another Christmas to knock me so low.  If next year it looks as if it will be a lonely day again, then I’ll do something about it.

So often we see meme’s about remembering those who are alone over Christmas.  My last 20 Christmases have been difficult, but this year I learned the depth of loneliness this day can bring.  I didn’t like myself as someone wallowing in pain.  That pain has been with me for those past 20 Christmases, but this is the first year that I have faced it.  For the next 20 Christmases I will seek ways to build new traditions.

The Knowledge of my Anger, Despondency, Aloneness – and my wallowing in such low-frequency emotions IS a gift.  A gift of deeper understanding that I can now take out into the world.

A Gift of Knowledge, given in this Era of New Beginnings and New Knowledge.  I will NOT be returning this particular Gift on this Boxing Day.  Knowledge is far too precious.  And the opportunity for New Beginnings is the best Gift of all.

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2018 – A Year of Change

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Gosh it’s been a while since I last wrote a blog article.  So much stuff has happened and despite heaps of good intentions, not a lot of writing has made it to this blog!  As I do every year, I hereby set my intention to be more diligent in the coming year.

As many other folk will also do, here is my review of my 2018 – a year that could have been the end-game of a very intense and fraught decade of disasters.  Instead it has been an amazing year.  As I think about the catalogue of woes of this year, I could be forgiven, I think, for curling up, burying my head in the sand and refusing to move into the world, but something happened on 8th January that completely changed how I viewed my world.

Backing up to the end of 2017:  I was living separate from my husband – a decision initially brought about by work, but which became comfortable – in a gorgeous old Queenslander workers’ cottage  three hours’ drive from where my husband ran our holiday accommodation business.  I lived alone with my dog; was studying, offering holistic counselling and spiritual healing and growing into my Self for what was probably the first time in my life.  On December 31st my husband called asking for help with cleaning the holiday apartments as the regular cleaner had been offered another job.  So, 1st January 2018 saw me packing up the bare minimum, throwing the dog in the car and heading back to Hervey Bay.

So many memories of living in that place, and not many of them good memories, so by 8th  January I was emotionally struggling and decided to go to the beach and meditate.  I was really low and although I was far from being suicidal, if the Mother Ship had landed next to me, scooped me up and flown me off to other parts of the Galaxy I’d have gladly left everything behind and gone.  I meditated on gaining more Balance in my life which had been out of control for many years.  Pretty much all my life had been a roller-coaster and I’d had enough.

Spirit sent the answer almost immediately.  I finished my meditation turned around to climb the sea wall back home and slipped on the first step breaking my ankle.  Well – not just breaking it, but doing about as thorough a job of smashing it up as you can possibly do without breaking the skin.  Long story short – I was rescued by the Fire Service, was hospitalised twice, surgery had me become the proud owner of a huge pile of titanium, two months of injecting myself in my belly every day and a total of 9 weeks with my leg stuck in the air.

Oh!  I forgot to mention that I was living with my husband and my dog (who weighed 63kg) in two small rooms at the back of the work office.  No proper kitchen, no view to outside, nowhere to move – pretty miserable.  Enforced bedrest gives you a choice.  You can wallow in self-pity or you can seek the Joy where you can.  I’d had a lifetime of self-pity, I had asked for Balance and although balancing on crutches wasn’t my plan, I realised that this was the start of my learning what I needed to learn in order for that balance to come into my life.

The year moved forward from that point – the bank threatened to foreclose on our mortgages (a whole back story there); the new owner of the business moved in and started running things, and so we needed to get out.  The minute I was relatively mobile we all piled in the car and drove the 17 hours to where my husband’s son lives.

We had absolutely no income and only had whatever belongings we had been able to fit on the back of a ute and we had to sell whatever we had in order to pay the rent.  I applied for unemployment benefit but in the meantime we sold everything including beds, table, chairs, washing machine….  You certainly discover who are true friends in such situation.

This is only the tip of the iceberg of the woes in my family, but you get the picture.  But when I was laid on the beach with that smashed ankle, moving into and out of consciousness, I felt very strongly that this was needed.  That something had to break in order to heal – and I am not talking about the various bones in my ankle!

This was one of those pivot points that everyone experiences at some time.  A time of choice.  Do I wallow, do I bewail my bad luck, do I fight or do I accept that Spirit has a plan?

I don’t see myself as a fighter.  Anything that has a feel of violence – even certain words – ties me up in knots.  I had been fighting for many years, through many traumas and with this injury I realised I had no fight left.  The Law of Attraction was in place – the more I fought, the more stuff appeared that needed to be fought for.  So instead, I Accepted.

I accepted the weeks confined to bed.  I accepted the loss of my home and that wonderful people who are barely more than strangers, went into my house and packed up my belongings.  I accepted that it will take 2 years to get fully mobile.  I accepted that we had fought through floods, bank errors, vicious attacks from neighbours and ex-friends. I accepted the loss of our business.  I accepted the most amazing people who came into my life, sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for longer. Spirit-sent for sure.  I accepted more home moves; battles with Government agencies; no income and the need to cancel plans to visit family and friends.  I have accepted that some family members are not willing to help (man that one hurt, but I have accepted) and that other family members will give their all to help.  I have accepted that my Spiritual Sisters are my strongest family.

And in all this acceptance I have learned.  I have learned to see the threads that bind us together.  Stretching throughout my lifetime and the lifetimes of every single being I have come into contact with.  Stretching through all dimensions and ages, I have learned to see the tapestry that is woven that brings me to this point.  This place where I am now.

I see Balance.  My husband met someone who had work available that is exactly what I needed and gives me time still for my Spiritual work.  I am teaching people in my new town the things that are dearest to my heart such as meditation and belly dancing and greeting the Full Moon.  And the people of this new town are the most amazing, friendly, open-hearted folk.  I knew as soon as I first stepped out of the car onto the foreshore of this place that I had Work to do here.  Spiritual Work.  Within days a local lady stopped and spoke with me.  She told me that she knows I have Spiritual Work to do here and that she had been waiting for me.  We have worked together for many, many lifetimes and we both recognise this.  It is a beautiful thing.  Most of all I see the Energy of Spirit behind everything that has happened in my life – and that all things were needed for me to become who I am right now.  Today.

Slowly, the ties to the traumas of the past years are being resolved.  Some are painful, some are amazingly smooth, but one by one they are being dealt with.

And so I greet 2019 with Joy.  I am at Peace.  I survived and came out whole.  I am stronger mentally and emotionally than I have ever been.  Physically?  Lots of work to do there LOL.  12 months being physically inactive, especially when you are no spring-chicken, plays havoc with the waistline and the fitness!!!

Through the entire year, the back-bone of being willing to carry on, are those who helped: my husband’s son and his family and my Spiritual Sisters.  These are true Family.

I am starting to understand the reason I landed in this town, and the lessons I am here to understand and grow with.  I have no doubt that the year to come is likely to have its own set of problems, but I have learned deeply, the adage that everything happens for a reason.  This lesson has cropped up many times in this life, but now I am able to see the threads and the weaving that brings together a Tapestry of Life that continues to grow into it’s beautiful whole with each day that passes and each person I meet.  The difficulties of life offer you the opportunity to tie a tight knot to strengthen that tapestry; an opportunity to change the colour of the thread you have been weaving.  They enrich your life – if that is what you choose.

Which Way Forward?

I wrote the following a few weeks ago when we first started to hear of children being separated from their parents as they tried to head towards a better life in the US.  It triggered a worldwide shock wave – and I am not about to get embroiled in the why’s and the finger-pointing, nor will I respond to any negative discussions that may result from this sharing of my thoughts.  These words are just my verbal meanderings as I try to sort it all out in my mind – what is the way forward?

Here in Australia, at the same time, there was outrage against the men who perpetrate crimes against women and the fears of women generally as the focus was once again turned, not towards educating men that this is not acceptable, but in educating women in the need to be more vigilant and more restricted in their actions.  Women were standing up and asking why they need to be careful, why they need to stay indoors, why should they not be free to venture outside without a male escort?

I do my best in such situation to remain outside the energy, to be the Detatched Compassionate Observer, but in the face of all this emotion it was hard to remain separate – and certainly it was hard to remain silent.  So I did what I naturally do – I wrote.

Regardless of your stance in these or similar topics I hope you will read beyond these initial thoughts of mine and to the voice I now hold in my heart that I would share with those who would like to hear.  I’m not saying I am right, heck I’m as confused as anyone else as to how this human race got themselves to this point, but I do have a few thoughts that may give you a pause for thought, an idea how you want to travel forward from this point.

This is what I wrote:

If every woman curls up and says “This is just how it is. Nothing has changed in the past and nothing will change in the future,” we, as a Collective Consciousness will choose that reality. We will be agreeing that it is ok to disempower women, that it’s OK to make women into perpetual victims. Yes, women are also taking that party line – they have been led to believe that they do not have the right to expect to be able to walk through a park at night without considering personal safety as a priority. They have been sold the concept that it is up to women to protect themselves from attack, and by default they have agreed that men hold power over them. Most who follow this path do not even see it. They do not understand that by following the ethos of “Nothing Changes” nothing WILL change.

Each individual, whether male or female, who cannot stand up and be counted in whatever way they are able to do so, is supporting the view that women (and children) don’t count.

I’m not an activist. I don’t follow world events. I am not the person who will go on marches or protests. I am the silent sister who simply adds her voice to the many other individual voices around the world saying ENOUGH. I am the sister of those who are afraid, but I am past my fear. I do not live by fear. It is no longer a part of my world. I am one individual who is part of the whole who says that the dominance over the weak, the hurting and the innocents is over.

Fear is the means that has been used for thousands of years to keep the balance in favour of those who perpetuate the fear. Those who would be rulers. This Energy we are discussing here, and that in the USA with the separation and imprisonment of children, and in almost all other parts of the planet is this Fear.

Now it is time for choice. Do we stay with fear or do we work now, raise each individual voice in whatever manner the person is drawn to do for the beneft of innocents. Do you want your daughters, and their daughters’ daughters to be able to be able to go for a run in the park, without fear? Or is your fear so great that you cannot even add your prayers to the growing movement of those who say NO MORE.

Even now, reading this it doesn’t seem unreasonable, but what if I were to tell you that even that reasonable-sounding voice is also adding to the disharmonious energy of Fear?  As too is that last sentence, because some of you will have become annoyed, angry even, at my words – “What?  That’s BS!  Everyone can fight in any way they want/feel called.”  And whilst that’s not wrong either, we have to dig deep and discover the base emotions behind our thoughts.   It is usually righteous indignation – which has the base of Fear, and without Fear, there is nothing to fight. It’s that simple.  And the sad part is that most who call out in this way don’t even realise that it is within the Energy of Fear that they are walking.

It is so very, very hard to live in this Reality and avoid Fear.  It is everywhere.  We all live in perpetual Fight or Flight Response and for some, the slightest thing can trigger anger, annoyance, even chest-puffing bluffing.  Today I saw a conversation on Face book between two people who consider themselves as “Lightworkers” – they were talking about the number of guns they have and that they were ready for whatever they thought was coming.  I also heard of other Spiritual people who talk about Love and Light – and gear up for marches against something that angers them.  And so much more in a similar vein.

It saddens me that the folk who genuinely want to do the right thing, who feel they are defending those who cannot defend themselves; who genuinely feel they can make a difference still feel the need to follow the same aggressive model that hasn’t worked but has been the norm for the last few thousand years.  They cannot see that they are not, after all, following the Goddess, the Divine Feminine, they are still feeding the world of anger, aggression and the “I am going to fight for my cause through my physicality.”

Without a doubt the events that cause us to fear, to be angry with the actions of our leaders need to stop.  I don’t think that anyone who calls themselves “Human” can disagree with that.  But do we believe – I mean truly believe – that following the male-dominated model of the last few thousand years is the right way to continue?

These, of course, are just my thoughts, my ramblings, but when I realised that the words I wrote were still feeding that anger and fear, I stopped and took a good long look at what I was hoping to achieve, and I realised that my actions in writing those words, and the way I believe these changes will come into this world are very widely different.  My words shout that we need to change this NOW.  Right Now.  Someone needs to fix this problem now so we no longer have this fear and anger in the world.  We don’t want to live like this, with this fear any more.  The underlying story of these words is like that of a child – lashing out in fear and confusion and trying, in the only way she knows how, to fix things –  but the fixing tool is broken.  It no longer works, in fact it hardly ever did work for most people.  It’s a boy-tool, male energy working through money and technology and power-games.  It no longer works and more and more people are realising that they need to find another way.

The “other way” is ultimately in the balance and harmony of the male and the female – but guys – we are riding pendulum of emotions and if we are not careful we will send the pendulum shooting too far the other way (more on that another day), but for now we need to walk our talk.

Trying to combat Fear with Anger will not work.  Love and Light do not walk hand-in-hand with guns and argument.  Peace and Calm do not blend well with dogma and dominance.  Each time we bring these together we are saying that this is the world we choose.  We are building the future reality with our actions now.  I know that the future world I want to see is not these things.

My truth, as I see it now, is that these things will not be fixed by marches and demonstrations and fear and anger.  These things will not be fixed overnight.  Heck, I don’t think these things will be fixed in my lifetime.  Or the life time of my children’s children.  But maybe, if we get it right now, then their children, my great-great grandkids, may be able to walk in freedom and balance.

We are honoured to be here right now.  This is a time of New Beginnings and New Knowledge – and we need to step up and use that New Knowledge to bring about the New Beginnings of the future of humanity.  WE are the ones to take the first steps in turning away from that old male model of aggression that has failed all but a few, and we need to continue what the Hippy / Flower Power generation started.  Peace through Unity and Love.

Through each Individual Consciousness acting through Love, Compassion, Prayer, Unity and Knowledge we will slowly move towards that time of balance.  We just need to get organised in following that peaceful route together.  And the first step is coming to Unity in how we are going to approach this matter.

For now, I Energetically support the Collective Consciousness of Humanity and when enough people get together in this way, believe me – you can see the changes starting to happen.

Flippin’ Heck!

I had a wonderful deep and meaningful conversation a little while ago with friends.  Sometimes such debates will result in nothing more than joy in the talk, sometimes they send me off to research more info, sometimes the conversation just sits in a hidden corner of my mind and will jump out at me days, or even weeks later, with confirmation or an alternate view or a desire to share – such as now.  Luckily for you, dear Reader, you actually get very little of my thoughts.  How boring are those people who spew out every little thought every single day!!!

So, today’s “Deep and Meaningful” is about making the best of a bad situation.  You know those times – we all experience them – when it feels like the end of the world is about to happen and we get so overwhelmed that we just want to hibernate.  Those times when it seems like everyone is chasing you for money – and you don’t have any until pay day; when the kids seem to only know one word “Muuuuuuummmmmm”,  when you miss the bus or train and you are now going to be late for work – and the Big Boss is going to be there and you just know that you’ll get overlooked now for that promotion.  You know the sort of thing I’m talking about.  You are human, so of course you know!!!

So what is it that makes some people just deal?  Things happen and they find a way through the turmoil with barely a hair out of place?  It’s preparation – and I don’t mean preparation like having the kids lunches packed the night before or making sure you have a stash of oh-my-goodness-I’ve-missed-the-bus-need-to-get-a-taxi money hidden in your bra – I’m talking about preparing your brain so that it doesn’t get all panicky and go into Fight or Flight mode where you just can’t think!!!

Huh?

When something like that happens, your brain just can’t tell the difference between missing the bus and seeing a sabre-toothed tiger walking down the street.  Both are fearful events even though only one of them has the potential to kill you!  Your brain turns to mush, sends out panic signals, your adrenals do their thing and you get a rush of hormones flooding your body ready to get you out of the way of that tiger.  And if you haven’t trained your brain to recognise those symptoms (and the fact that there isn’t a tiger) and to stop long enough to allow your logical brain to kick in and offer an alternate solution (like getting a taxi when you miss the bus) there’s your day – ruined!

There are lots of ways you can train your brain – meditation is way up there on the list, but also learning to flip your thoughts.  Whenever you catch yourself having a ‘negative’ thought – flip it.  Always.  Find something positive, or ridiculously silly about the event.  Lik when you are wondering if your butt looks too big – grab a mirror and watch yourself twerking – bet you are awesome, and even if you are not you’ll probably end up in a fit of giggles.  When things start to get into overwhelm, look for the ‘lesson’ so that it doesn’t happen again – like the credit card payments for example.  You missed a payment and really don’t like getting the reminder phone call and you’ve stopped answering your phone unless you know who’s on the other end.  Not a comfortable situation – so brainstorm ideas about how you can make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Even though they can seem huge at the time, you can always – and I seriously mean ALWAYS – find something that is light.

I’m really short of $$ at the moment so I decided to sell a lot of stuff and that gives me lot of choices in how I view these sales:

  • I’ve loved those collectables for years, I want to keep them – OR –  that’s less dusting to do/ less clutter/ I never really looked at them anymore / how nice that someone new will get to enjoy them!  How many times have I moaned about stuff being left all over the place!
  • Why do we have to sell the rowing machine – I was planning to get back on there and lose some weight – OR – well, isn’t it nice that someone will get chance to feel fitter and healthier, because I’ve been meaning to do that for 4 years, and I do really prefer to take the dog for a walk to the doggy park – lots of doggy cuddles I wouldn’t get stuck inside on that rowing machine!
  • The kids have driven me INSANE; why did I ever think I wanted kids?  – OR – when they are finally asleep they are angels/ the little one just brought me a flower from the garden and my heart just melted/ they are going to be awesome, indepentant, strong adults one day

Get the picture?  Go look at something in YOUR life that you moan about, or have negative thoughts about and see how easy it is to flip into a positive thought.

My washing machine got left behind last time we moved – and see the picture at the top of this blog?  That’s my new washing machine!  I get to experience how my grandmother did the washing.  And yes, it’s hard work, but scrubbing clothes up and down that washboard is very therapeutic.  I can meditate at the same time.  I actually like that so much that there is a possibility I won’t rush to buy a ‘proper’ washing machine!!!  Who needs a washing machine when you have elbow-grease and a washboard, warm, clean-smelling water and a far greater sense of satisfaction at a job well done than you get by throwing them in a machine and pressing the ‘on’ button!

If you practice flipping your thoughts, seeking the lighter, brighter, fun aspect of your troubles then they suddenly don’t seem so huge.

So next time you are about to spit-the-dummy or feel as if things are about to overwhelm you just stop.  Draw a deep breath in; close your eyes and slowly breath out and FLIP whatever was about to rock your boat.  Stuff may still go bottom-up but it won’t be so painful or scary.

And for those who follow a spiritual path and understand how the Law of Attraction works – you will find that by flipping all negative thoughts, you start to attract the positive stuff.  Like me.  I was going through a tough patch and had to sell stuff so I could pay the rent.  Then, out of the blue I discovered an old insurance I had forgotten about and phoned up to see what the go was.  And was told that I actually had TWO old insurances I could cash in.  Not a lot of money, but enough to tide me over.  How amazing is that!!!!

I’m off to do the laundry!

 

Ki’An is an Holistic Counsellor and Meditation Therapist.  She is also a practitioner of Reiki and Access Consciousness(R) Bars.  Other methods of energy work include intuitive healing using crystals, medicine drum, tibetan singing bowl and more. 
Please visit   http://www.kianhealing.com.au for more information regarding classes and conssultations.

A Tricky Topic

This is a tough topic.  It shouldn’t be because it’s something we will all achieve eventually.  It’s the last thing that most of us will do in this lifetime although some do it a couple of times, usually thanks to modern medicine.  I’m talking about death and grief.  If this is a sensitive subject at this time for you, it’s probably best not to read further just now.  This is just my view, at this stage in my life.  I know some people will worry that I’m struggling in some way, but no I just feel this is a topic with a taboo that we need to re-assess.  It shouldn’t be something to fear.

This ramble was triggered by a Face Book friend who has just written that she had to say goodbye to her dog after an emergency trip to the vets.  It’s such a time of sadness, when you loose a fur baby and friends gather around offering support and condolences, but I have a very different view that could be difficult for some folk to comprehend.

I’ve never feared death.  It’s a part of the experience of living.  None of us can escape it.  It’s the unknown that often scares us and the fear that many of us experience is mainly due to centuries of religious fear of going to Hell if you are bad.  And let’s be honest, we are all ‘bad’ at times.  It’s part of being human.  I bet there is not one person reading this who has not stolen something – even if it’s just a paperclip from the office or ten minutes of someone’s time when they were in a hurry.  In this scenario, Hell must be a busy place!

When someone I know passes, of course there is sadness and grief, but for me it is also a time of celebration.  This person (including fur babies) was in my life for a reason and my life is so much richer for having known that person, and hopefully that person gained much for having me in their life for a time too.

It is so easy to get caught up in the sorrow of someone passing.  You may disagree or want to argue with me, but I see that sorrow as also a little selfish.  Don’t, please, get me wrong, I also don’t see ‘selfish’ as a bad emotion although it can be.  The sorrow is because that person is no longer there.  You cannot interact with them anymore.  They are missing in your life.  They have left a hole that is going to be difficult to fill.

In our sorrow, we often forget the good times we shared with that person.  At least for a while.  For me this is the crux of grieving, the ultimate thing to be sad about – we forget for a time how much richer we are for having known that person.

When someone passes we all offer sympathy: “So sorry for your loss.”  “My condolences.”  We just don’t know what to say to bring comfort and that brings a level of awkwardness and sometimes friends just drop away when they are needed most, simply because they don’t know how to help.

For me, the way to help is to remember the good times.  The Joy and Laughter you shared together.  The giggles and the mischief, the times you sat into the middle of the night discussing world affairs, the hugs.  Remember the funny quirks that you teased him or her about, the things he or she taught you.  Remember and be thankful for the Love you shared, but most of all, don’t focus on the sadness.  It isn’t disrespectful to giggle at a funeral when you are remembering with Love.

When my first husband passed 20 years ago, I wanted to hold an old-fashioned wake.  Not one where everyone stands around, dressed in black with serious expressions on their faces, and softly spoken words.  I wanted a good old knees-up, a remember with Joy And Laughter PARTY!  I wanted ‘funniest thing I can remember about Ian’ games.  I wanted kids to have ‘run like Uncle Ian’ races (he had a very strange way of running).   I had a shed full of car maintenance tools I’d never use and didn’t even know the names of, so I wanted a Grab a Gift from Ian for all the guys into motor racing or car repairs.  I wanted a Moody Blues sing-along.  I wanted to make his life, and the impact it had had on each person there REAL.  I had heaps of practical support from many wonderful people, but people are so conditioned to celebrating the sadness; the absence of the person that they just couldn’t cope with my need to celebrate the good and the funny quirks that made Ian who he was.

What all this rambling is ultimately saying is yes, the time that someone transitions is sad, but don’t let the sadness overpower the richer memories.  The Joy and the Laughter.  You walked with that person, or fur baby, for a reason and when they leave your life, let the memories be the good ones.

I’m not old, but I am older and occasionally thoughts of my mortality cross my mind (no, I’m not being morbid so, my loved ones reading this, no need to worry).  I see my eventual time of transition as my greatest adventure,  I get to see, to Know, what comes next!  I am honoured that I got to walk next to you for a while.  Maybe I’ll get chance, like Billy Fingers, to pop back and say Hi!

 

 

Message Received. Finally.

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I’ve just had an “Ah-ha” moment.

The two main aspects, for me, in any healing are Love and Strength.  Almost always, these are the first energies I set my intention to and anything else is, pretty much, secondary.

Just before my injury I was meditating on Balance.  I fell off the sea wall and shattered my ankle.

‘Balance’ has been cropping up constantly ever since in many different forms.  Maintaining my balance, or not, as I hop around on my crutches; as words that jump out at me from the page of a book; as the topic of a post on FB etc.  You all know how it works.  You KNOW there is a message but you are just not receiving it!

I’ve just been watching Gregg Bradon on Gaia and he was talking about the Hopi Map of Time which is etched on a rock.  No-one knows how old it is, but it is a message for these times, and that message was taken to the United Nations in 1998 – and I almost missed it.  The Hopi Map of Time shows two lines, two ways of travelling forward.  The top line shows people whose heads are separate from their bodies.  These represent the people who live in a world of comfort, greed and profit.  Those whose personal wealth is measured on the backs and the pain of other people.  That timeline is pretty rocky and comes to an abrupt halt.

The second, lower, timeline shows a smoother path, with food and the representation of people living to an old age.  This timeline shows that it continues beyond the Time of Extremes (where we are now).  One this path are also three times of shaking.  The first is WW1, the second is WW2.  The Map shows that before 1998 it was easy to change between the two paths, but now, that is very difficult.  There is a third ‘shaking’ which may, or may not, be another war.  It could be a time of pretty much anything.  It could be these very times we are travelling through now.  The Hopi have no knowledge of what this shaking is.  Below the second timeline are other symbols that clearly mark and explain those earlier times of shaking.

As Gregg Bradon explained all this, a picture flashed into my mind of a three-legged stool.  I don’t normally visualise, so when it does actually happen I sit up and take notice, and within the picture each leg was named – just as Gregg said the words: “The lower path is based on the qualities of Love, Strength and Balance.  These are the qualities that will carry us beyond our Time of Extremes.”

And the light-bulb flashed on.  Message (finally) received.

Just 20 minutes earlier I had been working on a module for my psychophysiology course and I had been delving quite deeply into the fear currently present in the world.  It was not a pleasant experience and had brought some quite strong physical Fight or Flight responses to me.

The two are linked.

These are the three keystones we need for this time.  The three things needed to carry us forward through these Times of Extremes.  If any one of these ‘stool legs’ is missing, the whole will topple over.

Love, Strength and Balance.  This is where the Work is.

 

 

 

 

Energy Frequency Vibration

IMG_5587 (2)I first wrote about these words as a passionate, excited Neophyte who had finally reached a level of understanding about what they meant and how they would colour my life forever.   I wrote four articles in my Dance In Thunder blog and I’ve shared the link more than a few times in trying to help people who have recognised that they are travelling through the energy of Fear but don’t know how to escape.

I have moved forward on my Journey, have learned a little more about the path I am following, have a pretty good idea of the direction I am traveling and recognise that I probably have many years more learning to do as I head in that direction.  So I am not promising to have all the answers, but maybe my writings will give you food for thought and ideas in how to deal with the low frequency energies that often seem to follow people who are stepping out onto their personal Spiritual Journey.

For a while, these words were probably the thing my Friend and Teacher most spoke about.  We joked about getting them tattooed on my forearm so I’d never forget them, but it wasn’t until a time of strife and stress; a time of being bathed in low-frequency energies that I came to better understand the meaning.  I need to experience things in order to get to the deeper Truth, and this need has lead me into a life-time of disasters and dramas.  I’m sometimes slow on the uptake so the dramas tend to cycle around, but am now getting a whole lot better at recognising my Lessons and understanding those Truths as they appear at that time.  In the context of the disasters and dramas of my life this one was fairly easy to get under my belt, mainly because of a mental picture I was given by my Teacher and friend, Essence Ka tha’ras, and it is this which I want to share with you.

EVERYTHING IS ENERGY

EVERYTHING is energy.  You, your home, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, everything you see, feel touch, hear, smell, say, think.  It is all energy.  We all know that we are made up of trillions and trillions of atoms – all whirling around, looking like miniScreenshot (61) galaxies and producing….yep energy!  And between and within these atoms there is – as far as I know, (I’m no scientist, but I plan on learning more) – nothing!  Apparent emptiness.  These atoms and the emptiness between is the playground of Quantum Physics.  Those studying QP are slowly discovering the science behind the Shaman and the Healer and I find it fascinating that I have the opportunity to be here, in this lifetime, to be able to see this happening.  The first steps leading to a time where science and Spirit blend into one.  The medicine of the future.

Most of us say those words “Everything is Energy” or “I’m working on raising my Vibration” or similar, but they are just words really if you are still working consistently within lower-frequency energies and feeling the pull of Fear.  When you get a good solid handle on this you find that Fear really isn’t an issue any more.  Unless you are jumping out of a plane or on a roller-coaster or facing a tiger.  Then, your body has its own protective system and overcoming that is a whole different ball-game we can talk about another time.  It would be hard to avoid that kind of fear, but for now, I’m talking more about Spiritual fear.

Everything is energy, but all energy isn’t the same.  Energy vibrates.  It vibrates at different frequencies.  You can see this by looking at sine waves.  They measure the frequency of the vibrations.  Here is the bit that fascinates me – all the horrible stuff, the emotions such as anger, bigotry, fear, are energies that vibrate at a low speed.  I haven’t yet researched if I am right, but it seems to me that every low frequency energy devolves down to Fear.  If you are angry, and you look at your anger, you will find fear lurking behind it.  If you are racist – you fear those who are different so you react.  If you are a bully you fear that someone may be better than you, or different to you and because you don’t understand that, you lash out at that difference so that you can feel in charge again.  Worry and stress – Fear of what is to come or is currently happening.  We all hit that one at some point!

When you understand that anger and fear are low frequency energy, its very easy to work out what is high frequency – Love, Peace, Joy are right up there at the top.  When we talk about raising our vibration – this is what we are aiming for – the ability to consistently live in those high frequency energies.

And so I come to the mental picture I was given, and that has been so very helpful in maintaining a high frequency vibration within my energy.  Its very simple.  No complicated ceremonies, no magic, no smudging, no protection-raising.  All I am asking is that you imagine a ladder.

Screenshot (54)Yes.  A simple ladder.  Build it in your mind.  You can design your Energy Ladder however you want it to look.  A simple, traditional wooden ladder; a fancy one with ornate trellis up the sides; a golden staircase; whatever works for you.  No rules on your ladder design!!  But it needs lots of rungs, or steps.  Once you have your Energy Ladder firmly in your mind, we need to expand it out a bit.  Develop the top and the bottom – for any ladder this is important.  It needs to stand on something and lean against something.

This is the bit you need to get very firmly in your mind.  Each rung vibrates at a different frequency.  Low frequency at the bottom, high frequency at the top.  Its obvious really.  You don’t need to think too deeply about this but have a sort-of picture about the bottom, where the ladder is standing.  Mine, I describe simply as “Murk.”  It’s not an area I want to be in so I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, but I understand it’s there.  The top of my ladder is in pure bright light.  Again, it’s there, but its still a fair way above me and there is a lot about those energies that my human mind can’t comprehend, so I don’t try to understand.  It just is.  Someday, in some future lifetime or alternate dimension I may get there and although it’s unlikely to be this one, the thought is comforting.

Right at the bottom, in the murk is the lowest frequency rung.  In my mind this is Fear.  You may think a different emotion is the lowest – that’s fine.  It’s your ladder.  Above that, the next rung up may be Anger.  Whatever.  I’m sure you get the picture.  You are standing somewhere on the ladder.  You need to work this out for yourself.  I think of the Dalai Lama as somewhere near the top and I am nowhere near his level, so that gives me a guideline for where I am.

We have a picture of our Energy Ladder and where we stand on it. I am, in future articles, going to be referring again and again to your Energy Ladder as we explore the practical aspects of maintaining your higher frequency.  This mental picture is going to become something that will flash into your mind each time you come across something that worries you and each time that something happens to make you feel you can climb to a higher rung.

And here is the Golden Truth about your Energy Ladder

LOW FREQUENCY ENERGIES CANNOT CLIMB THE LADDER.

Think about it.  If you are, let’s say, 7 steps up your ladder and something happens that triggers anger in you, you have a choice.  You can become angry – in which case you will find yourself standing on the rung with that frequency.  On my ladder that would be the 2nd rung up.  In the murk!  I would have slipped down 5 rungs.  Alternatively I could look at that happening and tell myself, yep I could get myself good and angry, but what will that achieve?  Will making myself angry help?  Certainly in some cases, being good and angry can motivate you to achieve higher things, but only you know if that’s likely to be the case here, or if you are just getting angry for anger’s sake.  But guess what?  Anger cannot move up the ladder to you.  If that emotion tries to come to you, on your 7th step, it has to raise its frequency….. and in doing that, it means it is no longer Anger.

Have a think about how that works for Fear.

In future articles, I plan to explore things that crop up and look at how you can apply this Energy Ladder picture – and how you may be shooting yourself in the foot without even realising it!!  There are no promises about how frequent these articles may be – I have a complicated life – but to be honest, now you have your Energy Ladder – you have most of the tools you need!

In Lak’ech Ala K’in

Sue Thomson

Ki’An Healing